Tuesday, February 2, 2010

imma in a funk...

and don't want to be disturbed.
So if someone can figure out how to get that message to my kids, that would be great.
No, i don't want to dish you up dessert tonight...
No, really, actually, yah a bath IS a lotta work that i don't want to do right now...
No, i don't want to talk about tomorrows plans.
when tomorrow happens, you will find out all that tomorrow holds for you.
So please, shush shush and shush.
Mommy wants to be left alone, and you need to be sleeping sooner than later.

Yah this is really the mood that i am in tonight.
I don't know why. I didn't have a horrible day.
I actually got lucky and had to skip weight in today do to other plans.
But, i do have to get up tomorrow and step on the scale.
And while i lay here with biggest loser playing in the background,
I am feeling like that green team, i am going to be below that yellow line.
And that feeling sucks right now. cause my journey has just yet begun.
I cannot afford to slow down now.

I had a great workout this morning, and i know a yelling match is waiting for me at the gym tomorrow morning, and tomorrow evening. Wednesday is a double header for the gym.
But i just don't want to move. I don't want to clean this disaster around me.
The dishes will wait one more day.

I am tired, i feel exhausted.
I have so many thoughts, and worries going on.
And so many lists that are compiling.
When i lay in bed, i cant even fall asleep.
I am just thinking of everything i did not get done, everything that needs to be conquered, and all the things in between that i don't even want to start on.
somethings gotta give.
I need to declutter, organize, and refocus.
I need a better plan.
Or i will never make it through the final 5 months.


Ali said...

Oh, the infamous female funk.

Gotta love it.

I refuse to be all cliche and say something along the lines of, "this too shall pass" because, well, of COURSE it will.

I WILL, however, say that I think you are a-mazing for even using the words double header and gym in the same sentence. Not to mention you actually do it! A-mazing.

brooke said...

awww hun!!! wish i was there to help you out some...cause i definitely would! i am counting 5 months as well but for other reasons...

i know you can reach your goals cause you are awesome like that and have done it time and again! remember it takes 9 months to put the weight on...it takes a bit to get it off as well!!! have you tried the shred?!? i know it sucks but it works and it works fast!!